I have tried so many times to lose weight, just so I can ”fit in” – Actress Adaora Ukoh

Nollywood actress Adaora Ukoh shared her experience in Nollywood as a plus size actress with TheMagazineClub.com
Here’s what she said:

I feel a certain kind of excitement during December that even the typical anticipated Lagos traffic and all-round madness may not be able to quench. Like every young lady, I am a sucker for love. But I have grown, and as every year passes I learn one new thing about how to love, how to receive and how to give entirely to whatever it is that gets your blood pumping at that moment – it may not be a lover; it could mean a business idea, a project that has taken off already- anything!

At the moment, I’m not sure what it is that is getting my heart racing. But beyond any flippant excitement, I am always truly in love with my brand.

Ok. Let me take this time to talk about my brand a bit.

You see, I got into Nollywood when it was still a dribbling toddler, barely able to stand, speak or co-ordinate its thoughts. It was a dream for me because I’d always wanted to act. So through getting a degree in Law from The University of Lagos, I engaged part-time in acting, until I had my feet firmly on the ground to be a full-time actor.

There was a time I actually did think that I was getting the right kind of growth and progression in the industry. It seemed slow but I was grateful for the jobs I got and I gave them my very best shot – oh yes, I pushed myself to the limits when it had to do with interpreting my roles, and I was glad with the, “Isn’t Adaora such a good actor?!” comments that came from fans and even from colleagues. But then…I’m not sure what happened really, but it seemed I met a brick wall, or my career was a stalemate. I grew from confused to angry to confused again to bitter to sad, and then to prayerful.

I tried not to focus on the cliché reasons of being a plus-size actress therefore being naturally limited to “good, more promising roles”, but it was hard not to get miserable over that excuse. I realised when the jobs came, they were tied to particular kind of roles that had to do with playing a mother, or an over-fed bitter sister-in-law, anything but the major and glamorous roles.


Sigh!
I’m not even going to pretend and say I shrugged it off. I tried to, yet it still hurts like an open sore. I know we live in a skinny world, with skinny people taking all the cream. How we got there, I am not sure….oh wait! Of course I’m sure: blame it on the glossy covers of magazines that celebrate size 0 women, making it hard for a young woman to eat a healthy plate of eba and ofe nsala without feeling guilty (LOL!). I heard once that a lady had to take slim-enhancing tablets just so she could keep her job in front of the cameras. Women are anorexic, vomiting food after digestion just to stay a size 0. Men would look past the chubby girl and rest their lustful stares on the slimmer woman.

Let’s just say it’s a tough world for plus size people!

And in all of this, I have tried so many times to lose weight, just so I can ”fit in” (not sure what that means anymore) but I have come to realise that I am who I am; what would the world be like if we all had to be slim? Where is the variety of life if God created us all the same?

I was hungry for challenging roles as an actress, and a more focused career that is beefed up with endorsements and sort, just like anyone with proper ambition would think for themselves; and to be hampered because of the way-you-look…aaaah! It just kills! But anyway I have gradually grown beyond it, and the healing and complete acceptance of who I am continues despite it all.

Now I am focused on things that will succeed regardless of how big or skinny I am! That is the life I have been able to discover. And that, sometimes, is the blessing that comes out of a situation you cannot handle. If you let people’s judgement of you come between your dreams and true abilities then you have become a slave to them and would live a life that satisfies them; and what a miserable life that would be! I am finding a lot of “new” love for my career and for things I can birth out of just being who I am.

So in the spirit of love, I would say: find the kind of love that keeps your energy alive. We all deserve love, but not all of us will experience that I’ll-climb-mount-gilbrata-for-you kind of love, but you are surrounded with love- one way or another, even when you are totally unaware of it.